Chasing Rainbows

The flag football season just ended and my sons’ team lost every game. The parents were dejected and the coach went from frustrated to resigned, but it didn’t seem to bother the players.  They tried to win every game and it just didn’t work out.

In the middle of the season, there was an evening game during a storm.  The coach called it the “Ice Bowl”.  The boys played through the deluge.  And again, the coach found his team behind and he called a time out to discuss their next and most crucial play.

Look – there’s a rainbow.Image courtesy of FreeFoto.com

And the players stopped listening to the coach and all turned to see a spectacular rainbow.  Then they took the field…and scored their first touchdown of the game.

Even for peewee players – the pressure to perform becomes more important than the play at hand. By taking a moment to focus on the rainbow, the team settled down and did what came naturally.  Too often, we put too much focus on achievement and we miss what’s happening around us. I love rainbows and hummingbirds and I try to stop myself to watch either. Not sure my next play will be a touchdown, but somehow I always feel refreshed.

What makes you stop and reset?



Saluting the athletes' Moms

I'm overwhelmed already with the start of spring sports - which here in California overlaps with the tail end of winter sports and skiing. Imagine being the parent of a potential Olympian.

My children select one sport for each season and I made the dumb decision to add a second sport (Flag Football - which is a lot of fun, but adding to my stress) for February - April.  Baseball and Lacrosse (two boys, two sports) have started practices and games leaving me stressed about coordinating the weekends.

During the Winter Olympics we marveled at the athleticism of the competitors.  It was amazing that the 50K men's cross country (mass start) race resulted in a sprint for the last 100 meters.  The winner won by milliseconds after skiing for two hours. Shawn White flew; Lindsey Vonn and Bode Miller sped and the US Bobsled Team took gold after 60+ years.  And of course, USA Hockey enraptured the nation.

As I watched the sports with my children, there was an ad campaign that made me stop the TiVo DVR, rewind and watch, repeatedly.  It gave me pause and made me tear up. Proctor & Gamble, in a nearly wordless video montage, reminded all the viewers that every Olympian begins as a child athlete and behind every child athlete is an incredibly committed Mom (and likely Dad...but P&G was "sponsoring the Moms).

 Here's the :60 second version of the spot.

I'm amazed at what the parents of competitive athletes do to support their children. At the moment, I'm a little shell-shocked at what my family is doing to support our children in their community leagues. I remember my mother carpooling me to gymnastics, my sister to tennis, as well as community soccer and softball.  It was complicated, time consuming and stressful.  Until my own children started playing, I didn't fully appreciate it.  So - along with P&G - I'll salute the Moms (and Dads).  Thanks Mom!

Safe from unbalanced disappointment - this time

A couple of weeks ago, we decided to allow our younger son to join our eldest in trying out for competitive soccer and I wrote about our concerns and decision. On Friday, we got a call from the U8 coordinator that neither boy made the team, but that they would like both boys to join their Friday academy in the spring.

The coordinator, Norman, was gentle and let us know how competitive it was.  He also broached the conversation about our younger son saying that the coaches were emphatic about wanting him in the academy and that he's a very solid U7 player, but just not yet big enough to play (safely) in U8.  That said, next year, he's someone they want for the U8 team of 2011. According to Norman -

The coaches definitely saw something compelling in him.

For fun, I told Norman that Taylor was actually a U6 that had just turned 6.  He thought the coaches would have an estatic reaction - Taylor can play two years in U8!  And Norman told me that having heard this from the coaches, he now understood my email asking if my six-year old can try out for the competitive eight year old league. 

To tell the truth - I'm thrilled with the outcome.  Taylor isn't big enough to play safely in that league with that caliber of player - but he'll be challenged in the academy and next year (Spring 2011), he'll play up more safely. And Benjamin isn't convinced he wants to do super competitive sports - he wants time for music and rock climbing as well as soccer and lacrosse.  Renaissance man. 

We dodged the bullet of dealing with one child's disappointment by both of them not making the team.  Next year, if Benjamin tries out - it'll be for U9 and Taylor in U8 - non-competitive. We're sure that Taylor will get the coaching and cultivation he wants and that Benjamin will choose a variety of activities to explore.  Whew. Of course, Taylor may ultimately have to choose between competitive soccer and competitive baseball, but hopefully we have a couple of years before that!

Managing sibling competition

Like most parents, we don't enjoy the regular bickering between our two eldest children.  They love each other and share a room but get under each other's skin. It's normal.  Our eldest is competitive and he recognized a couple of years ago, when he was 6, that his younger brother is a natural athlete.  We've worked hard to keep them from being in head to head competition because we just thought that was best.

After reading NurtureShock and Outliers, we decided that we really weren't accomplishing anything with our artificial attempt to insulate Benjamin from Taylor's athletic talents.  We want Benjamin to enjoy sports regardless of his brother.  And we want Taylor to have the opportunity to develop his talents as far as he can.  This led us to decide that we would allow Taylor to join Benjamin at competitive soccer try-outs with the risk, however slight, that Taylor makes the team and Benjamin does not.

The risk is slight because over 70 boys try out for 36 under-8 spots.  So, the odds are against either boy making it.  These are the best 8 year olds in town - Taylor is two years younger.  And Benjamin is a solid and aggressive player - but not a gifted ball handler.  So, we'll see where it goes.  Realistically, we're going to face this problem again and again.  So far, we're encouraging their different interests so that they aren't directly competitive - but we ski together and soccer is the fall sport for now.  How do you manage sibling competition without someone feeling bad about themselves?