Creating rituals and memories

In my mind, there are a series of memories I want my children to recall as adults. Baking challah on Friday for Shabbat where they do the braiding and the smell fills the house. Making homemade chocolate chip cookies from scratch (which entailed finding a recipe we like - thank you Trader Joe). Skiing together in Big Sky (or any other mountain). Some memories I try to create proactively and others I hope to remember from the moment.

There are moments every day that I hope I'll remember.  Like my daughter's giggle when I lay on the floor with her and kiss and tickle her.  Like my eldest's intense hugs. Like my younger son's first realization that he can recognize and read words on street signs and books - and announces them. It's hard in our fast paced society to slow down and experience moments.  Of course, there are plenty of moments I hope I'll forget such as the bickering in the car over who said what and who annoyed who.

My family is talkative and the kids talk non-stop in the car unless we are singing or listening to a book on tape (no digital dope unless it's a roadtrip longer than one hour). My family has a story that I talked incessantly as a child and that my mother asked me to pause so that I didn't lose my voice. And my three year old response was that talking was my favorite thing in the whole world and how could I stop. My kids heard that story from my Mom this weekend. They thought it was hilarious.  She thought it was sweet payback. I thought it was one of those moments that deserved to be recalled.

What memories do you proactively try to make and what moments do you find you recall?

Understanding my parents

I spent an inordinate amount of time in my twenties trying to understand my parents. Until I had children, it was a pretty futile sport.  Not quite sure why it was so important anyway but I felt that understanding my parents was a path to understanding myself. It was much easier to do once I had a child.

Over our ski vacation, I had another epiphany about my parents that made me smile - I realized:

Our parents skied behind us because they wanted to pick us up if we fell or dropped something, not  because they were slower.

Here are some other things I've understood about my parents because I'm a mom:

1. When your child is really hurt - physically or emotionally - you feel real pain. And you'd trade places in a heartbeat. It's a hard balance to know how much to protect or help them and how much to let them struggle.
2. Their anger when I came home after curfew was because of visceral, instinctive fear.  Fear you only appreciate when you think something might have happened to your child.
3. Parents are worried about money and frustrated about time because children are really expensive and time consuming. Worth it, but wow - it does add up.
4. It is frustrating to knowingly love someone more than they will ever love you.  Hopefully, we get to see our children "tortured" by the same sort of love for our grandchildren.

What have you realized about your parents because you now have children?